I shake my head in utter amazement, a stunned disbelief that she pulled through. As well, feeling the post-traumatic stress from the days and nights of hyper vigilance. Over the past year her bleeds typically have occurred every 5-6 weeks with a few exceptions. I keep hoping, visualizing that we are done with bleeds and the tumor will shrink. Or rather I have been calling it her “baby” – treating it with utmost love and care for the gift –the depth of presence – it brings – that it will be miraculously born in this living realm of the “unknown” and Phoenix will live out her remaining elder year/s in the greatest appreciation of bodily comfort.